Reaching Your Goals – What is Stopping You?
To say reaching your goals is a daunting task is an understatement. Honestly, it requires more mental work than it does physical work. So much so that the majority of people quit too early because it is mentally draining to push yourself in that way.
When it comes to goal setting, three things hold us back. The fear of the unknown, the fear of failure, and the fear of judgment.
Fear is simply “false expectations appearing real.”
Fear is built into us as an evolutionary survival tactic. Today, there is very little reason for us to fear for our physical well-being. Meaning that fear is more of a mental game than anything else. This leads to you getting stuck in your comfort zone and not reaching your goals.
Give a person good food, cheap entertainment, and consistency in life and watch them fall into a path that leads to an ordinary and mundane life. Take away a person’s comfort zone and they are forced to challenge themselves to become better.
When in reality, it is the fear of the unknown, the fear of failure, and the fear of judgment holding you back from really reaching your goals.
1. Fear of the Unknown
Not knowing what would happen if you challenged yourself and followed through with your goals is what keeps many people from achieving them.
“What if it doesn’t work out?” “What if I fail?” “What if it isn’t what I thought it would be?”
What if the opposite happened? What if it did work out? What if it was more than you ever dreamed of? What if you succeed beyond your wildest dreams?
What ifs are the death of progress in life.
The unknown is a terrifying place to be. It is why so many people find themselves stuck in life situations they do not want to be in. They know how to deal with their “now” and that is easier than putting themselves out there.
This is the first fear you must overcome when reaching your goals. You must understand when chasing your dream, you will be put in situations that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable. The only way to grow in life is to go through the unknown. The only way to fail in life is to not start your journey through the unknown.
2. Fear of Failure
Failure only means you found a way that did not work. Check it off the list and try something different. That is the beauty of challenging yourself, you cannot fail until you quit.
There are many ways to skin a cat, yet most think there is just one tried and true method. If there was, wouldn’t everyone be doing it?
Look at failure like a boxing match. There are going to be some fights you win and some you lose. It is impossible to win every round. If you are, you are not challenging yourself enough because there is very little growth in winning.
If you lose the match, you can either give up or start looking at things you could have done differently. Both of these options will lead you down two completely different paths on the way to reaching your goals. How are you going to prepare yourself for the next round of the fight?
Quite honestly, how enjoyable would life be if you did everything right the first time anyways? You would not appreciate anything you have.
3. Fear of Judgment
Judgment is the reason humans biologically crave acceptance and the need to be liked. This is a survival tactic engrained in our bodies. If you felt like you were going to lose your support system for doing something you wanted to do, most likely the fear of judgment would hold you back from doing it so you would not end up alone.
One of the biggest regrets of those who are dying is ever caring about what anyone else thought of them. It held them back from doing what they wanted in life. Many dreams have been killed off before they were even born due to fear of judgment.
Whether it is branching out and starting a business, quitting your job to travel the world, or competing in a bodybuilding competition, dream-chasing is not the social norm. Going against the social norm is terrifying and can make you insecure beyond belief. At the same time, the people you are feeling judged by are only judging you because you are making them feel inferior.
It is much easier for others to make you feel bad about branching out and trying something new than it is for them to put forth the work to change and better their own life. Comfortable people, happy or not, almost always choose the easiest route in life. Unfortunately, dragging down someone else is easier than changing who you are.
Are you going to give up on your dream because someone else let their insecurities get in the way?
There is no reason for someone confident in their life choices to make someone else feel bad about their own. They know the work that goes into reaching your goals and how difficult it can be. You just have to understand that you will never make everyone happy. The fear of being judged is holding you back from your dream life.
Overcoming Your Fears
Learning how to overcome your fears to reach your goals is much easier said than done. Anything worth having in life is never easy to obtain though. Here are different ways you can challenge yourself to overcome these fears:
- Do something to get out of your comfort zone.
- Put yourself out there until you stop caring if eyes are on you or not. If others are looking, own it! Nothing screams confidence like not caring what others think of you.
- Karaoke, dancing, wearing a bold outfit
- Try a hobby you know you will fail at the first couple of times.
- Getting comfortable with failing at things that do not matter as much as your dream will help you to not be so hard on yourself. When you inevitably have a failure moment when reaching your goals, you will be prepared.
- Fake it until you make it.
- This piece of advice is one of the best in the business. Mindset is the name of the game. Once you alter your mindset to think successfully, you will eventually become successful.
- People underestimate the power of a determined and positive mindset. You must start working towards your goals as you have already reached them. It is then that your mindset will start to shift from “fake it until you make it” to “I’ve got this.
- The most successful people in the world use this manifestation technique and there is a reason for that.
- Realize everyone is too worried about themselves to care about what you are doing.
- Humans are honestly selfish creatures. We are focused on what we want and need and that is it. There is no one else alive thinking about you reaching your goals as much as you are. Isn’t that freeing?
- Once you come to terms with that, you will realize that no one else is going to know or care about what you are doing. Once you become successful, then they will ask you how you did it. Until then, keep doing your thing and they will keep doing theirs.
The reason you are not reaching your goals overall is that you have a poor mindset. Not a bad mindset, a poor mindset. You do not believe in yourself or believe you are good enough to reach your goals. Growing up, did you had a parent who was critical of your actions, or were you bullied as a kid? Those interactions have had a lasting impact on your mental health. It is a protection mechanism from your brain. It wants to tell you that you are not good enough. This way no one else can hurt you.
These protection mechanisms have transformed into the fear of the unknown, the fear of failure, and the fear of judgment. All of which are keeping you from reaching your goals. You deserve to see your dreams come true.